My first miscarriage knocked the wind out of me. I was completely devastated. I also felt shocked and confused; which is silly, really, as I knew the statistics. It happens to one in four women in Australia. But after three healthy, complication-free pregnancies, I didn’t think it would happen to me. When it did, at just six weeks gestation, I felt like my body had let me down. I had joined club I had no interest in joining. And what was worse, it was a lifetime membership.
Sadly this loss would not my only one. My second miscarriage happened just a couple of months later. It was a different experience as my fighting embryo made it to eleven weeks, but the pregnancy was fraught from the beginning. I was told the pregnancy was “guarded,” a word that haunted me like an unwelcome shadow. Hope and fear jostled for domination in my head in a torturous battle. At nine weeks the pregnancy was considered unlikely, “unviable” in medical terms. I was losing another life I loved. I had to endure a cruel and agonising fortnight wait for the heartbeat to stop….