Postnatal bliss
I have only been a patient in hospital a handful of times, mostly in the maternity ward. I remember the first time I gave birth; wrapped up in post-natal euphoria, I said to the midwife, “You have the best job in the world.” And I meant it. To be on the front line of care; to see women in their most raw and vulnerable state, and to assist them through an often traumatic experience, is a great privilege.
But they also have a stressful job. In a delivery suite, midwives witnesses pain, heartache, joy and grief daily. They play such an important role in the birthing experience. During an eight-hour shift, they have the capacity to alleviate pain and discomfort, to connect emotionally with a patient and to impart compassion and significantly influence a patient’s experience.
Childbirth is unpredictable and often presents dangers to both mother and baby. Things can and do go wrong and even a safe delivery can result in postnatal complications as I experienced.Two weeks after giving birth to my third daughter I suffered a serious postpartum haemorrhage that almost resulted in a hysterectomy. During my stay in hospital I experienced the best and worse in patient care. Whilst I received the medical attention I required, the initial patient care I received was appalling.
When I arrived at the labour ward, Midwife 1 casually ushered me to a delivery suite. She was glib, condescending and rude. Evidently, my haemorrhage was of great inconvenience to her, and her attitude was immediately upsetting.
My obstetrician’s initial assessment was brief. Thinking I must be suffering from an infection he administered intravenous antibiotics. He said that I would be monitored overnight and sent for an ultrasound first thing in the morning to check for any retained placenta. And with that, I was left to bleed throughout the night.
For the duration of her shift, Midwife 1 did not display a hint of comfort or kindness. When I asked for a nappy for my 13-day-old baby, who had been plucked sleeping from her bassinet when we rushed into hospital, she responded accusingly: “Didn’t you bring any nappies?” Stunned, I tried to explain that we’d left the house in a hurry, but she cut me off and sighed. “We don’t have any here. You’ll have to tell your husband to go and get some”.
As I lay in a pool of blood, her lack of compassion continued. I asked for maternity pads and she replied with scorn, “Didn’t you bring any of those either?” When I later requested help positioning my baby to breastfeed it was met with overt irritation.
Later that night, I buzzed for help to go to the toilet, given I had a drip in one arm and blood-soaked towels in the other. “It’s on wheels,” she said pointing to the stand holding the intravenous drip. “You can just move it in with you – you don’t need my help.” Her lack of compassion was deplorable, and for the next few hours I lay in the hospital bed weeping softly, too nervous to ask for any more help. My baby cried next to me and I couldn’t comfort her. I was scared and alone, as my husband had returned home to our two young daughters. And then, everything changed.
Midwife’s 1 shift ended and Midwife 2, a caring and compassionate woman, replaced her. Alarmed by my blood loss she wasted no time paging my obstetrician and I was rushed to theatre. I was given a blood transfusion and underwent a procedure to stop the bleeding. I later learned that I was lucky to avoid a hysterectomy. My obstetrician performed a curette, inserted a balloon device into my uterus to control the bleeding and restitched my episiotomy stitches that had split.
The next day I voiced a complaint about the care I received from Midwife 1. I asked to be cared for by someone else the following night, and thankfully, my request was granted.
By comparison, Midwife 2 was nothing short of angelic. The moment she stepped into my room I felt comforted. She was a mature woman, with years of true caring experience behind her. And with her initial acts she began to transform me. She gave me a gentle sponge bath and brushed my teeth. She cleaned me up – and then brought me hot toast and tea. For the next few days she helped me with the most basic of human acts. I never felt the slightest bit of embarrassment or inconvenience to her.
The cause of my haemorrhage was unclear. Apparently a secondary postpartum haemorrhage affects approximately 1% of women following childbirth. But what is clear is the fundamental failure of Midwife 1 to provide basic patient care alongside first-rate medical treatment. The fact that in my most vulnerable and fragile state, I felt too uncomfortable to ask for help is abysmal. The same, fortunately, cannot be said for Midwife 2. She was like my angel and embodied everything that is precious about midwifery.
Have you been a patient in hospital many times? What was your experience of patient care? Did you suffer any complications during or post birth?
When I had my baby (by emergency c-section) the midwives were great the first day. Then the next after I was told I had to walk they pretty much ignored me. One night my baby spewed all over my bed and her trolley and the midwife came and replaced her blanket but did nothing for my bed so I slept in vomit covered sheets. I was so glad to go home.
Oh my goodness, that’s awful Toni. What a horrible experience for you. The contrast in patient care is quite astonishing. I just wonder how some people end up in the nursing profession….
Michaela, what a scary thing to happen. It’s one of those things that are in the back of the pregnancy books that you don’t want to read about.
I had a placental abruption with my first with no explanation of why it happened. I had seen my OB the day before and everything was normal. She laughed when I said that if for some reason I needed a C-section that would be ok, she didn’t expect to see me less then 24 hours and be in that situation.
Yes it was very scary, Emily but lucky to live in a country that can deal with medical emergencies. In other parts of the world women sadly die from complications like this :-(.
Isn’t it interesting that you mentioned to your OB that you would be OK with a C-section if that would eventuate. It’s almost like you had a sixth sense about what was to happen. Again, lucky to have first-rate medical care in this country.
What a horrible experience for you – at least there was an offset.
Yes, not pleasant, but lucky that Midwife 2 came on shift!
I’m so sorry you had to go through this! I often wonder how some people end up a midwives or nurses wen they clearly don’t want to be there, my labour was pretty traumatic but not at the fault of the midwives, but my after care was shocking, at the fault of midwives! I won’t go into it but I do remember my daughter being barely 3 hours old and I was scolded for not emptying my catheter :/ (I still wasn’t able to walk from epidural and had just been stitched up from a third degree tear!) xxx
Thank you, April. Sounds like you had a pretty traumatic birth and that’s the time you really need the support, compassion and patience of caring midwives. Imagine being scolded for not emptying your catheter. Insane! I truly believe that postnatal care is crucial to ensuring a positive experience for a new mum. Childbirth is traumatic and you really need to feel supported when you are at your most vulnerable xx
I was rushed via air ambulance to Melbourne from rural victoria. Our daughter was born 6 weeks prem due to severe pre eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. I was seperatdf from her for 3 days. Before being moved to a ward. My daughter was in nicu. I was feeling a bit low, a nurse walked by, looked in and saw there wasn’t a baby and promptly said, “well there’s not much I can do for you. ” the most heartless and cruel comment I have heard 🙁 she didn’t even ask how I was coping or how my daughter was.
Michelle, that is absolutely horrendous. Your whole experience must have been so traumatic. A friend of mine suffered from HELLP syndrome and sadly her babies did not make it. I can’t believe how insensitive that nurse was. What a heartless thing to say to a new mum. There was EVERYTHING she could have done for you and it beings with asking how YOU are doing…. Terrible. So glad your baby girl was safe xx
I always feared the shift change each time I was in hospital with a new baby. I can’t believe how much the level of care and even the advice they give can vary so much! So glad you had such a wonderful experience with MW #2. With my first son, one of my midwives was male and he was incredible. So attentive and caring and I didn’t once feel embarrassed. But shifts changed and I was then in the care of a very stern, passive-aggressive older midwife and I couldn’t wait to get home, even though I could barely walk (side effects of my epidural). With my third son, I needed some stitches after the birth. This midwife didn’t wait long enough for the anaesthetic to work which of course made me wince and asked her to stop. I was scolded like a child and told that it was hard for her to tell where to stitch. Needless to say I didn’t return there for the birth of our fourth child.
Yep, you have hit the nail on the head. It’s amazing just how different the midwives can be, in terms of their advice and in terms of their personality. In general I found the younger ones to be full of enthusiasm and excitement and very attentive with their care. But some of the older ones were exactly as you describe, “passive-aggressive”. I remember being scolded by an older midwife as I lay down to feed my daughter (as the previous midwife has instructed me to do as I was too weak to sit up). “What on earth are you doing?” she snapped, “Get up and sit properly if you want to feed your baby”. I felt like a child being told off….
I had terrible midwives at night with 4 of my kids, one older midwife told me when I couldn’t sleep from worrying about my son, who was under lights in nursery for jaundice, I asked her if he was awake for a feed as doctor had said I could breastfeed him through the night, she snapped at me saying ‘I will feed him a bottle as I don’t have time for him to come out and be fed, I want him out by morning’ I said to her the doctor was happy for me to feed him and she replied ‘get back to bed you silly little girl and let me do my job, I don’t care what the doctor told you, Im in charge now.’ I was only 20 and alone so went back to my room and cried all night, she went past a couple of times making snide remarks like ‘stupid girl’ ‘just get to sleep’ and others. But the daytime midwives were angels and one told me none of them would work with her and they were going to force hospital to make her leave.
My other 2 kids were born at KEMH and all midwives, nurses and doctors were Angels and I thank them everyday for saving my girl.
Joanne, that is so awful. That night midwife sounds like a cynical, disgruntled nurse who should not be in the profession!! What a horrible thing to say to a new mum who is worried about her baby and wants to feed during the night. Thank goodness you had happier experiences with the daytime midwives. And all power to you having 4 kids. I’ve only got 3 and although I’d love another I really feel like my hands are full 🙂
During my stay in hospital after the traumatic birth of our first son, I was left feeling defeated and alone when the staff would no longer give me formula for my son as my milk had not come in and they had been giving him formula while I was in icu, so I was left feeding a starving baby with a stretched belly every 20 minutes faithfully believing that he was getting milk even if it was only a little. At 2 am on the second night a beautiful midwife came to see why my baby was still crying only to find me rocking him and sobbing woefully. This tiny lady said she would be right back and left me to my sadness. A few moments later she returned with a supply line and small bottle of formula. She very simply said. “I read you notes, baby needs milk, you need sleep I show you how to do this then you can both rest, your milk will come with rest.”
Sure enough she kept bringing (and organised for the other midwives to) me a supply line and formula for the next 36 hours, and my milk finally came in.
Without that wonderful woman, I would be doubtful that my bond with baby would have been strong enough to get me through the following traumas.
I’m glad midwife #2 brought you some humanity. ❤️
Oh what a wonderful woman!!! And what a smart woman too. It makes perfect sense that you needed to rest in order for your milk to come in. And your baby needed milk. I can imagine you felt like a new person 36 hours later and agree that this kind act of tenderness helped you bond with your baby. Having a baby is life changing and I truly believe the immediate postnatal care is vital to establishing early bonds. Thanks for sharing your story x
Wow Michaela, what an awful experience for you! I have spent a good deal of time in hospital over my life and totally agree with you – the nursing staff are what make the difference between a good and bad experience. I would have written a formal complaint if I was you (easy to say with hindsight). That woman should not be caring for unwell people. I had a terrible midwife during the last 8 hours of my labour. I will never forget how awful she was. I could have had such a different experience if it wasn’t for her. Oh well. Glad you got the help you needed in the end. What a scary experience. X
You are right – the nursing staff make or break the experience and it’s a game of chance. You are at the mercy of whoever is on shift. Fortunately I’ve had some very good experiences too. I’ll never forget the midwife who helped deliver my first baby after 33 hours of labour. Her name was Marie and she was just the right amount helpful and kind. I thanked my lucky stars when ‘Marie” turned up again just in time to deliver my third baby, almost 3 years later 🙂