Raising girls who Thrive

May 19, 2020 By Michaela Fox Leave a Comment

It feels like a long time since I wrote on this blog. And a lot has changed in that time. We are in the midst of a global pandemic and life is very uncertain and unsettled. I have been home schooling four kids while (attempting to) work from home. Emotions in our family have been running high. Life has not been easy for anyone.

But there’s another reason I haven’t been writing here as frequently, and it’s an exciting reason. Last year I launched Girls Thriving – a purpose-driven biz/blog aimed at helping the current generation of girls to THRIVE.

Girls Thriving provides practical support, tools and tips to empower young girls and support their parents. Through events, webinars and online resources I hope to help parents raise calm, capable and confident girls.

I am very excited about this new direction. It feels deeply aligned to my values and I am passionate about this work. NASD isn’t going anywhere, but I won’t be writing here as frequently. You can still follow NASD on social media as I still regularly share updates and snippets of my life on Facebook and Instagram.

So, for now, I invite you to come and join me over at Girls Thriving, especially if you have a daughter or niece. I’ll also be sharing valuable information and tips on parenting sensitive children, and children with anxiety. In fact I recently launched these “Little Pick-Me-Up” cards aimed at building confidence, resilience and self-esteem in young people. If you want to encourage a growth mindset, these gorgeous affirmation cards are just the thing.

Thanks so much for being part of my online communities. I am grateful every time you visit my website, read the blog posts, and comment on social media. Now, more than ever before, connection is so important.

I hope to see you over at Girls Thriving. I encourage you to look at these blog posts on Connection, and Coping with Isolation, which are relevant whether you’re parenting boys or girls.

And of course you can find Girls Thriving on Instagram and Facebook.

See you there!

Michaela x

A Peek Inside Our Home

January 20, 2020 By Michaela Fox

Dining Room with flowers on table — Indoor plants, fresh flowers and beautiful art make a house a home. And people, of course!

Finally, the post I promised! It’s only taken almost two years to do it. Yes, that’s right. Our “new” home is not so new anymore. We’ve now been in our home for nearly TWO years!

And it’s still not complete.

But, I have come to realise that it may never really be “complete.” We still have boxes that are unpacked (obviously whatever is in them is not very important) and the family photo wall that I vowed to do in the first year is still as bare as a baby’s bottom.

There are areas of the house that still need updates and accents, but I subscribe to the “done” is better than perfect motto in pretty much all areas of my life. And the home is no exception.

The truth is our house felt like “home” very quickly. Because it had my most prized possessions inhabiting it – my family. Sure, I’d still love to get some custom bookshelves put in (because, floor to ceiling bookshelves are a legitimate life dream of mine and no Kondo-art of tidying up is going to change that!). But really, a home is not a place, it is a feeling. And it feels really good to be here!

Here is a sneak peek inside our home. I hope you enjoy this little tour. Please know that this is not an accurate representation of how our house ordinarily looks. I do actually have four kids living here, including a three-year-old whose daily mission is to ensure that it has a “lived-in” look!

The Dining Room

View of Dining Room from Kitchen — The Dining space is adjacent to the kitchen and a wall separates it from the formal lounge.

Dining table with native flowers. — I love to have fresh flowers in the home as much as possible. This bunch looks lovely with my sister’s beautiful abstract landscapes in the background.

The Kitchen

Kitchen Bench — The kitchen is light and bright (a stark contrast to my previous kitchens)!

It’s not huge (spaces always look bigger in photos) but it has sufficient storage and a butler’s pantry which I LOVE!

Butler's Pantry — I manage to keep the benches reasonably tidy, but the actual pantry is a complete mess!

We wanted to add some warmth to the kitchen so we included this gorgeous timber pendant.

The Powder Room

We have one powder room downstairs, next to the laundry. Simple timber cabinetry and white-tiled splash back.

The Master Bedroom – Downstairs

We actually have two master bedrooms in our house. Ridiculous, really, but we weren’t able to modify the design too much. If you want to see the volume builder we chose and the design of our home, see this post.

The benefit of having a second master is it is a lovely guest room for when people stay and my sister visits from Dublin. At this stage we are sleeping in the master upstairs (close to the kids) but when they are a bit older we will move downstairs to the nicer of the two!

The shower is big and spacious and Mr NASD can actually fit under the shower head!

A neutral palette of grey, white and timber.

The Study

I have a small study at the front of the house. My desk is rarely this neat!

This is where the work, creativity and procrastination happens!

Bedrooms

All the girls bedrooms are located upstairs. Miss A (10) has her own room, Miss J (9) and Miss H (8) share a room, and Miss I (3) has her own room. Soon my baby will move from cot to bed, so I will share some photos when we have transitioned her to a “big girl” room.

Miss J and Miss H loved sharing a bedroom.

Miss J has a pinboard with photos, notes and affirmations.

Miss A’s bedroom is actually always this neat!

She likes to journal and do her homework at this desk.

Family Room

Stacker doors lead out to the deck and very small garden.

If you have any questions about the build, the furniture or styling, just pop them in the comments below. I engaged the services of One Girl Interiors to help me with key selections, which was one of the best decisions I made. I suffer from decision paralysis and Suzanne helped make the process so much smoother.

New house update

To Buy or build?

How to create your dream home

Featured items/furniture

Artworks: Hannah Fox, Sprout and Sparrow, Fizzy Pop

Pendants: Jardan, Mud Australia & Gubi

Sofa: King Living Furniture

Armchairs: Freedom

Floors: Royal Oak Floors (American Oak)

Dining Table: Globe West

Rugs: Armadillo & Co (Family Room) Globe West (Lounge Room)

If you want to know where anything else came from, just ask. I hope you enjoyed this little house tour. I may do another post when I get those custom bookshelves!

Maternity Clothing Essentials

December 6, 2016 By Michaela Fox

Maternity fashion has come a LONG way! We are now spoilt for choice when it comes to dressing comfortably and stylishly during pregnancy. Long gone are the days of oversized tents and unflattering smocks, concealing the baby bumps. Now, baby bumps are celebrated, accented, and displayed. A quick search of the hashtags #maternityfashion, #stylethebump and #bumpinspo will literally turn up hundreds of thousands of pregnancy pics on Insta. In this post I’ve got you covered with a guide to maternity clothing essentials.

I have never gone crazy with buying maternity wear as it’s for such a short amount of time and it can get very expensiv, very quickly. But after three pregnancies I knew which items were essential, and which items were not, and so this pregnancy I selected a few maternity clothing essentials, which combine comfort and style. Many of these items can be worn beyond pregnancy and some are breast-feeding friendly.

7 Maternity clothing essentials:

A comfy pair of fitted jeans

A nice pair of fitted maternity jeans is a must for the maternity wardrobe.

No matter what season you find yourself pregnant in, you’re going to need a nice pair of fitted jeans. Admittedly, this pregnancy saw me in preggy jeans A LOT sooner than previous pregnancies, but the positive spin on that is it means I’ve got more bang for my buck. I always opt for the elasticised tummy band, which I wear folded down in early pregnancy and stretched out over my belly towards the end. These jeans have a skinny leg profile and a super stretch deep indigo denim. The beauty of a fitted pair of jeans is you can continue to wear them post pregnancy. In fact, they’re so comfortable I am always rather reluctant to get out of them! The jeans pictured are from Jeans West.

2. Maternity leggings and Tube Tee

Maternity leggings are a staple of my wardrobe.

Maternity leggings are a must in any pregnancy wardrobe. I have worn 3/4 maternity leggings in Summer and full length leggings in Winter. Paired with a skirt or tunic, they are the perfect maternity staple. Also, given I’ve had terrible Varicose veins this pregnancy, I have been able to wear my SRC support leggings underneath a pair of maternity leggings. Extra support and extra warmth in the cooler months. Win/Win. The leggings and elbow sleeve maternity tee ( super-stretchy with side ruching) are both from Ripe. Boots not maternity, but in case you’re wondering, they are from Witchery.

3. A tunic

A tunic is a maternity “must-have”.

I absolutely love wearing tunics when pregnant. In fact I don’t know why I limit them to pregnancy. I really ought to wear them outside of pregnancy as they are so comfy and stylish. I paired a couple of tunics this pregnancy with jeans or leggings. The tunic pictured here is from Ripe maternity.

4. Maxi dress

Love wearing a maxi at any stage!

Maxi dresses – every preggy woman’s best friend, particularly if you’re pregnant over Summer. I have been pregnant over three Summer’s and worn maxi dresses to the max. This time, I’ve been pregnant in Winter so I haven’t needed a maxi but the weather finally got warmer in Melbourne recently so I’ve been enjoying wearing an old favourite plus a new addition. The maxi pictured here is from Ripe and is the Cold Shoulder maxi with pockets. Featuring an on-trend cold shoulder neckline, a soft gathered waist and splits in its maxi length skirt. I LOVE the pockets.

5. A bump and beyond dress

A cute “bump and beyond” number

We all know our bumps don’t just miraculously disappear in the delivery suite. Just what shape I’ll be left with after this fourth pregnancy, I don’t know. But I do know that my shape changes every single time. I get a little bit broader, my kangaroo pouch pronounces itself a little more, and my boobs get bigger. The latter change is definitely the highlight. So a dress that can take you from pregnancy through to breastfeeding and beyond is an essential part of your maternity wardrobe. The dress pictured here is a navy and silver striped number by Eve of Eden. I bought this from Blossom and Glow. I love the versatility of the dress – easy and discreet nursing access, matching belt that can be worn under the bust when pregnant and at the waist post-pregnancy and it’s a lovely, flattering shape that definitely celebrates the bump!

6. Comfy nightie

A maternity/breastfeeding nightie.

A comfy, breastfeeding-friendly nightie is essential as you near the end of your pregnancy. You want one that can take you from the end of your pregnancy through to breastfeeding during this many nighttime feeds. The one pictured here is from Target.

7. Maternity tank top bras

A breastfeeding tank top is perfect for late pregnancy and beyond.

The maternity cami is designed to support the changing needs of your body during pregnancy and nursing. I started wearing them in the third trimester as my boobs and belly required extra support and the cami kept my tummy extra warm in winter. The downside of these tank tops is that can get very hot if you’re breastfeeding in summer, but they allow for discreet breastfeeding. The one pictured here is from Target and features a built-in wirefree nursing bra and easy release clips for drop cup nursing. And in case you’re wondering, yes, I am into stripes this pregnancy!

Finally, when putting together your maternity wardrobe, avoid buying maternity clothes until you actually need them, instead of in one fell swoop. A better bet is to purchase a couple of things here and there throughout your trimesters. It will save money, certainly, but it’s also very difficult to predict how–and where–you will fill out.

What have you found to be an essential item in your pregnancy wardrobe? Did you feel good in maternity clothes?

Pregnancy after miscarriage

November 21, 2016 By Michaela Fox

Pregnancy after miscarriage is a juxtaposition of hope and fear.

It’s the moment that should bring exquisite joy. Seeing two blue lines emerge as your pregnancy is confirmed. Only it didn’t. Instead of joy, it brought fear. And as I watched the second line form I began to cry. Pregnancy after miscarriage is a completely different experience. It is a whole new game, with new rules to navigate and a fear, which lies just beneath the surface, robbing you of the joy that is supposed to come with pregnancy. What should be one of the happiest times in your life can be filled with trepidation. For the first 20 weeks I lived in fear every single day.

I spent most of last year conceiving, losing pregnancies and recovering from the losses. After three consecutive miscarriages, I had become known as a “recurrent miscarrier”. Each loss was painful, but my third miscarriage almost broke me. After two miscarriages I was equal parts delighted and terrified to be pregnant again. On International Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day, people worldwide were encouraged to light a candle in honour of all the babies lost during pregnancy. As I prepared to light a candle, I stroked my tummy and that’s when it happened. I felt the first drops of blood escape my body. I went cold. Panic set in.

On a day where lost pregnancies are recognised all over the world, I lost my third baby. I can’t say which emotion was stronger in the days that followed, grief or anger. I felt the full magnitude of both emotions and believed my dream to have another baby was over. I was wrecked.

Losing a pregnancy

Losing a pregnancy introduces you to an entirely different world. It thrusts you into a “club” that you never expected to join. And it’s a lifetime membership. I turned to online groups for support and hope, becoming fluent in the language of fertility and miscarriage. The physical recovery took time but the emotional recovery took longer. I felt my wound would never heal. But slowly it did.

The pregnancy test is POSITIVE!

Pregnancy after loss

About six months later I fell pregnant again; making me a mother of what parents in the child-loss community call a “rainbow baby” bringing beauty after the storm of child loss. With a pregnancy after the loss of a child, you have two choices — live in fear or live in hope. And miscarriage provides fertile ground for fear. In the early weeks I over-analysed every twinge, pain, cramp and ache. Early spotting and cramping echoed my previous pregnancies and I felt certain that it was only a matter of time before this baby was taken away from me as well. I was gripped by a panic so strong; the residue of grief too powerful to shake.

I counted the days until I was able to get an early ultrasound and make sure that there was, in fact, a baby growing. It was the longest seven weeks of my life. As I lay down on the technician’s table, I murmured an apology for my trembling legs and let silent tears fall. I prepared to hear those haunting words again, “I am sorry but this pregnancy is not viable.”

Only I didn’t hear them. The doctor assured me the tiny blob on the screen was an embryo and he dated my pregnancy. I was supposed to be happy. Only I wasn’t. I thought the dates were wrong, and the baby was measuring too small for the expected date. My second pregnancy had been an agonizing 11-week wait of weekly scans until the baby’s heart stopped. I thought this pregnancy would follow the same script.

The next five weeks were torturous. I felt terribly sick, but my body had tricked me last time by continuing to pump the pregnancy hormone until I had undergone a D&C. At my next scan I was certain I would be told the baby hadn’t grown. Only it had. My little rainbow embryo showed perfect growth and my doctor told me I could be “officially” happy. As I clutched my 12-week ultrasound photo, I resolved to look forward, not back.

I told my girls and allowed myself to be swept up in their excitement. And their elation was off the charts. Buoyed by their love and enthusiasm, I have been able to embrace and enjoy the remainder of this pregnancy.

Pregnancy after loss feels nothing like pregnancy before loss. Love and loss have become interwoven but hope has outlasted fear. In just a few weeks I will meet my precious rainbow baby, a living symbol of healing and hope. When he or she is placed onto my chest, I will remember my lost babies too. And in that exquisite moment, grief and gratitude will likely meet and I will swaddle my baby in love.

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Pregnancy: The Preggy Diaries Trimester Two

September 5, 2016 By Michaela Fox

Half way preggy bump

Pregnancy. You either love it or loathe it. You glow or you ache. You swell or you radiate. You enjoy or you endure! Right now I fall into the “endure” category as I experience some rather obscure and uncomfortable aches and pains.

It’s fair to say that this pregnancy is busting my chops. I thought that once I got through Trimester One, the early pregnancy complaints would fade away, leaving me with energy, a “glow” and serenity. I was wrong. I am not glowing. I have zero energy. And I am most definitely not Zen.

If you didn’t catch up on my Trimester One update, you can do so here. The common theme in that trimester was nausea. And leakage; two highly unpleasant side effects of pregnancy….

Breastfeeding: Is breast always best?

August 23, 2016 By Michaela Fox

Is breast always best?

Recently I overheard two mums in the park discussing how someone in their mothers’ group had her ten-week old baby on formula. Cue: gasps of horror! The tone of this conversation (read: bitch session) was condescending and judgmental. Their transparent lack of support and sense of superiority was appalling. Breastfeeding is neither heroic nor, mandatory. Mothers should not be shamed for feeding their baby, from nipple or teat.

The chorus of “breast is best” is echoed everywhere. And with good reason. No one would dispute the countless benefits of breast-feeding, and breast is certainly the best “first choice” but formula is a fine second choice….

Let the festival of forty begin!

June 8, 2016 By Michaela Fox

Let’s get this party started!

Well, it’s official. I am now 40!

I can’t say I’ve been looking forward to this day, but now that is it here I am feeling A-OK about it. It’s only a number after all, but the number terrified me for a while. I suppose it’s because I don’t actually feel forty. I kind of don’t think I look forty, either, but a healthy dose of self-delusion could be at play. Certainly I’ve aged A LOT since I had kids, and the lines around me eyes are evidence of this past decade, but then again, a lot has happened in the past ten years.

My 30’s were good, really good. I got engaged on my 30th birthday and married the love of my life six months later. In our early years of marriage we travelled to some incredible countries including India (for our honeymoon), Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Italy and Slovenia! Our Eastern Europe trip was terrific fun. We were footloose and fancy free and we ate, drank and drove our way across some of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. We were deliriously happy as we had officially decided to start trying for a baby. Oh, so daily “siestas” were also a highlight of our holiday!

At 31 we were expecting our first baby, Miss A, who arrived shortly before my 32nd birthday. I have never been happier in my life than in the year that followed her birth. Life was everything I wanted it to be and I enjoyed motherhood immensely. At 33, we welcomed Miss J into our family and our lives and life got a little “busier.” She was not a good sleeper, and an unsettled baby and I found juggling a newborn with toddler difficult and draining. Which in hindsight makes my decision to go for a third rather “questionable”. But I’ve always been an impatient person so three under three seemed like a perfectly reasonable predicament, er I mean, situation!

Mis H arrived eager and ready to join the family when I was 35. She walked fast, talked fast, and waited for no one and nothing. Life was MANIC!!! I can’t really comment on the next few years as, quite frankly, they are a blur. For some odd reason I thought it would be a good idea to start a blog (because life wasn’t really busy enough, right?) and so you can read about those early times here and here. I honestly don’t know how I survived the first couple of years after Miss H was born. Having three preschoolers at home for three consecutive year is utter madness. I wouldn’t recommend it, but now that I am through it, I am very happy my girls are so close in age.

So although our lives are no longer filled with adventurous travel, hip bars, independent cinemas and urban restaurants, we are very happy. I feel like life has settled into a nice rhythm and I can’t really ask for more in life. Except a home, to own. But we’re working on that one 🙂

I feel confident my 40’s are going to be fabulous. Instead of resisting this age, I am now embracing it with full gusto. It begins today and I intend to celebrate my four decades with great enthusiasm. I officially launch my “Festival of Forty” today. I’ve got some fun things planned for the next few weeks and I am going to share my celebrations with you all.

Be sure to pop back here in a few days as I’ll have something very special to share with you….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

I am ready for “life to begin”. I think 40 is going to be fun!

Thanks for following and sharing a little bit of my world with me.

Michaela xx

Party time!

What every family needs

September 17, 2015 By Michaela Fox

If you have a healthy family, you have everything

Sponsored Post. All views are my own.

Before I had kids I spent very little time at the doctor’s. Apart from my annual women’s check up, I didn’t need to visit my GP much as I didn’t get sick often. Now that I have three little ones, I am there every other week. Along with my local pharmacist, a visit to our local GP is about as regular as a trip to Bunnings!

There are some things that kids share very well. Germs. Unlike their toys they’re not particularly territorial about germs. On the contrasty they’re very generous with passing these on. Add to this the bone brushing fatigue that most mums experience, our immune systems are often depleted and we get sick more frequently.

Becoming a mum redefines exhaustion. It also rearranges your priorities. And one thing I’ve discovered is the importance of having a good family GP. A good GP is vital when you are raising a family. When I was growing up we had the same GP for twenty years. And while this isn’t always possible if you move suburbs, continuity of care is one of the many benefits of having a trusted local GP.

Kids get sick. Colds, coughs, gastro, ear infections, conjunctivitis are just the beginning. Fortunately my kids have never been really sick and they find going to the doctor a highly exciting experience.

Since becoming a mum I have relied on my lovely GP more than ever before. And it’s not only for my children’s’ health. My health, while fairly good overall, has needed more attention in the past few years. Two big events come to mind.

About 18 moths ago I experienced anxiety for the fist time in my life. At the time my husband and I were going through a stressful time of deciding whether to uproot our family and move overseas for his work. His employment situation in Australia was not secure and we considered a move to the US. I felt the huge burden of having to make a decision with significant implications for the family. And it took a toll on my mental health. To help us make this decision it required a trip to the US to check out schools and housing etc. It meant leaving our children for nine days.

I was incredibly tense about this, having never left them before and I began to feel highly anxious. I remember making an appointment with my GP and bursting into tears when I tried to explain how I was feeling. I was having trouble sleeping, and felt panicked as the day drew closer to leave them. Morbid thoughts like what would happen if the plane crashed and our kids were left alone without parents occupied my mind. My lovely GP listened to me as I explained my situation and was reassuring. It felt good to have someone listen to me. She prescribed me a low dose of anxiety medication to help in the lead up to the flight, and to have before take off. And it helped. It helped a lot.

More recently I saw my GP for another traumatic time in my life. I suspected I was miscarrying. And I was right. For someone who is quite guarded with my emotion, it was surprisingly easy to cry to my GP. My GP was sympathetic, reassuring, and gave me the quality of care that eased some of my suffering. She not only addressed the physical side of my pregnancy loss, but the emotional side too. She answered all my questions with compassion. She assured me that I was not to blame as I had worried that the death of my auntie and the stress it had caused, may have resulted in my miscarriage. She passed me tissues. She gave me hope, probably the most important quality a GP can have is offering patients optimism. And she helped distract my kids with colouring in so that I could shield them from my tears.

First scan

A good GP

I have so much respect for General Practitioners. Each day they see patients presenting with myriad symptoms and concerns. The good GP understands the importance of getting to know you and your children. The good GP is someone who can rely on and trust. The good GP provides safe, quality, and efficient care. The good GP helps people with everything from the flu to pregnancy, diabetes, sleeping problems, mental health illnesses and cancer. And the good GP never stops learning, thanks to the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners.

Did you know that GPs are actually ‘specialists’? They’re specialists in General Practice and that means being knowledgeable across 22,000 different illnesses!

On a good day I struggle to remember 22 names!!

Everyone needs a good GP. Do you have one? Tell me below how frequently you visit your GP.

Miss J turns 5

September 13, 2015 By Michaela Fox

Confetti spoon

How can it be that five years has passed since I welcomed my second baby into the world? I always get very nostalgic in the lead up to my girls’ birthdays, revisiting their arrivals, contractions and all. Miss J conveniently arrived a couple of days past her due date. It was considerate of her on two fronts. First, it allowed us time to settle into our new home (which we did less than a week before she was born), and unpack a household of boxes. Second, she thoughtfully ditched her due date of September 11, a date with such violent and horrific associations, that I had always hoped she wouldn’t arrive on time.

Just as no two children are alike, no two labours are the same, and Miss J’s birth was a vastly different experience to Miss A’s. I was 7cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital and in excruciating pain. I pleaded for an anesthetist but I had a bad response to the epidural and my blood pressure plummeted. I felt so sick and nauseated that when it was time to push I fainted and the arrival of my second daughter passed by in a haze. My obstetrician used the vacuum extraction to deliver her and when she was born I had never felt sicker in my life. My husband said I was as white as the hospital sheets. You can read the extended birth story here.

And that was five year ago today….

The ultimate Fathers’ Day Gift List

September 2, 2015 By Michaela Fox

Fathers’ day is looming and so the wonderfully creative staff at our kinders, schools and childcare centres are busy preparing handmade presents from the kids for their dads. I am forever grateful, and astounded, at the many and varied ways teachers come up with cute little handmade gifts. Just think about the seemingly infinite ways a child’s hand or footprints has been used to create something specular. Impressive!

Every parent has strengths and weaknesses and I’ll confess that homemade gifts fall into the latter for me. I’ve been contemplating how else I can thank my hubby this fathers’ day. It occurred to me that what he really wants is not a new wallet or stubby holder, it’s actually not material possessions at all. Aside from the Richmond Tigers taking out the premiership in September, I reckon my hubby will be pretty pleased with this gift loot!…