Sacrifice Archives - Not another slippery dip

Who is the perfect mum?

September 26, 2013 By Michaela Fox

After 32 hours, she arrives!

Mothering in the modern day is not easy. The pressure to be perfect is enormous. Every mother I know is trying to do the best by her children. Every mother I know is under pressure. Every mother I know feels at times that she is failing in a certain area. And every mother I know suffers from guilt from time to time. No mother I know thinks she is perfect.

So, who is the perfect mum and what does she do? Let’s have a look at the “profile” of a perfect mum. You may also know her as “Supermum.”…

The glory, gripes and guzzlings of a second pregnancy

August 13, 2013 By Michaela Fox

I am very excited to welcome the lovely Sarah, from Pearls of Willsdom to not another slippery dip. Sarah kindly agreed to write a guest post for my site. She is currently pregnant with her second child and in this funny post she reflects on the many differences between her first and second pregnancies. If you’ve ever been pregnant a second, or a third time, you will relate to this. Sit back and enjoy a laugh.

For most women I know, the differences between their first and subsequent pregnancies are marked, mainly by a sense of contented nonchalance and acceptance. Without detracting from the amazing biological process that is one human creating another, my point is best demonstrated by the following:…

7 things I’ve gained since becoming a mum

August 4, 2013 By Michaela Fox

Becoming a mum is life-changing. It’s easy to remember all the things you sacrifice, like sleep and bladder control! Amongst the myriad sacrifices of motherhood it’s important to reflect on all the things you gain, and, fortunately that list is long too.

In my latest article over at Essential Baby I talk about what I’ve I have gained since becoming a mum, and it’s not just the few extra kilos on the bathroom scales! It begins with a sense of vulnerability. If you enjoy this piece, please share it.

What are some of the things that you have gained since becoming a mum?

*Photo: Tamara Oudyn

Happy Mother’s Day

May 11, 2013 By Michaela Fox

: My mum

At no other stage in your life do you feel a greater respect and appreciation for your mum than when you become a mum yourself. Becoming a mum brings into focus the dedication, love and sacrifices that you’re own mum made. On this mother’s day I would like to dedicate this post to my mum – a woman who tirelessly put her children’s needs ahead of her own, and whose mothering abilities I aspire to match. It’s a post about thanks.

* The beautiful looking woman in this photo is my mum. It was was taken by my dad, at around the time she became a mum.

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My failed fitness quest

February 25, 2013 By Michaela Fox

There’s a catalogue of things I’ve been meaning to do for, let’s see, about four years now. Amongst aspirations, like, seeing a movie and reading a book, high on my “To Do” list is:

Find time to exercise.

One of the many casualties of motherhood, for me, is exercise. This is partly due to the fact that every time I recover from giving birth long enough to get a grip on my life, I get pregnant again. I’ve dabbled in yoga, tennis, jogging and skipping (Yes, skipping – don’t knock it till you’ve tried it) but nothing is sustainable. Either my interest peters out or my body no longer responds – it always comes to a halt….

Romance after kids

February 13, 2013 By Michaela Fox

If you ask a childless couple what they have planned for Valentine’s Day, it’s likely it will elicit a romantic response. Ask the same question to a couple with young children and it’s likely they will laugh. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and many happy romantics will be celebrating. Whilst I have never been one to set aside the 14^th of February to show my love for my partner, I would love a night of romance.

It’s a familiar script – kids kill romance! Countless studies have found that marital intimacy declines significantly after the arrival of the first baby. Having a baby is one of the biggest adjustments a couple can experience. Literally overnight, life alters for the long haul. For me, romance involves the following: spontaneity, freedom and uninterrupted conversation, and children provide the perfect barriers to all of these….

The KitchenAid conundrum

February 3, 2013 By Michaela Fox

I have been in the market for a KitchenAid mixer for many years now. For as long as I’ve loved baking, I’ve wanted one. And yet something prevents me from actually purchasing one – the cost primarily! At roughly $750AUD it’s an expensive kitchen appliance. And is it really that much better than the other mixers on the market?

The truth is that part of me thinks it’s an indulgent expense, and I am not sure I can justify it. Sure, I love baking, but all you really need is a wooden spoon, a bowl and some good arm muscle, and you can whip up endless batches of cakes and treats.

I never used to think this way but my husband’s philosophy might be rubbing off on me. You see he always pulls me up on ‘need’ versus ‘want’. Naturally I say I need things all the time – off the cuff. I need a new kitchen (I really do). It’s a 1980’s timber triumph, that’s the problem. It looks hideous but it’s actually in pretty good form. Timber that was built to last…unfortunately. I actually wish some of the cabinets were damaged so that it may speed up our kitchen makeover, but it’s in good nick….

Giving up soft cheese is the easy part!

November 12, 2012 By Michaela Fox

It begins as soon as you witness those two blue lines. You remind yourself that it’s in the best interest of your baby and that it’s only for a relatively short time. But the sacrifices continue long past the gestational term.

There’s a catalogue of sacrifices a pregnant woman is advised to make for 40 weeks. I remember feeling quite terrified about it. I’ve never been good at giving up anything. I was a spectacular failure during Lent at school, and I cheated each time I attempted the 40-hour famine. And recently, prior to undergoing a general anaesthetic, I even failed to go nil by mouth for the 12 hours prior to surgery. How on earth would I be able to manage 40 weeks of sacrifices?

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Adequate: the new “excellent” for mums

October 26, 2012 By Michaela Fox

Cot day sleep

Twice in one day I heard the following comments from mums that are doing a great job looking after their families. “I am not the mother I thought I would be”, and “I feel like I am doing everything badly.”

My advice? “Lower your expectations.”

Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mother managing the infinite demands of family life, or a working mum juggling a professional life in addition to family responsibilities, the same sense of guilt pervades us all. We tend to feel that we could be doing things better – more books, less TV, more craft, less shouting at the kids, more nutritious meals, less sugar…. the list is endless.

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Are there pains worse than labour?

September 25, 2012 By Michaela Fox

A hangover is a pain worse than labour

I am going to dispel a myth. The pain does not end when labour does.

Recently I was bedridden with acute bronchitis. It was agonising and I was incapacitated for days. As I lay in bed, wondering when the pain would end, I thought back to a defining moment in hospital after my first baby was born.

I remember, 24 hours postpartum, weeping in excruciating pain whilst feeding my baby. It felt like I was experiencing labour all over again. “Oh they’re just the afterpains,” the midwife said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Your uterus is contracting again, just like during labour. It shouldn’t last more than a few days”. And then she was gone. I felt like I’d been had. As if 30 plus hours of uterine contractions wasn’t bad enough, I now had to endure more of them. Everyone had told me that as soon as labour ends, so too does the pain. They had lied.

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