Self-care Archives - Page 3 of 3 - Not another slippery dip

How to be a happier mum – 10 tips

July 2, 2013 By Michaela Fox

A sense of humour is key to being a happier mum

There is a saying exchanged amongst married men that goes something like this: Happy wife, happy life! The chances are you have heard it. And perhaps there is some truth to it -the men obviously think so. But what happens when kids come along? Does the code change?

I believe that happy kids = happy mum; and happy mum = happy hubby; and happy hubby = happy family; and happy family = happy life. Sounds simple enough right? But there’s something wrong with this order. The evidence strongly suggests that kids respond positively to happy parents. If they sense frustration, conflict or despondence, this can have a knock-on effect to their self-esteem as well as their behaviour. We need to be happy within ourselves first. So, how to be a happier mum?…

The importance of self-replenishment

May 19, 2013 By Michaela Fox

“You can’t have ecstasy without agony,” said the midwife to me whilst I was in the throes of transitional labour. She was trying to be encouraging, but at that stage I couldn’t see any relief in sight and I wanted to skip the agony part and get straight to the ecstasy! I realised, later, that she was right. The pain and pleasure were intimately linked and I needed to endure one to experience the other. In a similar way, the dichotomy of pain and pleasure typifies the motherhood experience.

One of the things I find interesting about mothering is that the very source of your happiness can also be a source of frustration and suffering. Motherhood is layered with complexity; it connects you with feelings and emotions that are new and raw, and these emotions seesaw continuously. Part of the problem, perhaps, lies in our expectations. We tend to think we should be enjoying motherhood all the time, particularly if it is something we have yearned for. So, we often feel guilty when we feel unhappy….

Dealing with disappointment

April 28, 2013 By Michaela Fox

Magnificent maple

Disappointment. It’s an emotion we all experience from time to time. It can range from slight to severe and it’s often unavoidable. If you’ve ever been in the job market for ‘some time’ you will probably have suffered the disappointment of not getting an interview, or the job itself. Sometimes our disappointment is directly linked to our greatest desires, like wanting to have our baby, or forming a lasting relationship. We often feel disappointed by the people closest to us in our lives, and sometimes we feel disappointed by people we have not even met (Lance, I am looking at you!). And as parents, we often feel it on behalf of our children – and this disappointment can be particularly hard to swallow….

The kindness of strangers

December 17, 2012 By Michaela Fox

Becoming a mother is life changing. It exposes your vulnerabilities in countless ways. Literally overnight you become responsible for an extension of yourself; you become a lifeline.

I remember the first time I took my baby on public transport just a few weeks after her birth. I decided to take the train into the city whilst she slept in her bassinette. Sounds easy enough but I remember feeling anxious as I mentally rehearsed all the steps. How would I get the monster-sized pram onto the train? Would the gap between platform and train be too big? Could the wheels get stuck? What if the doors closed before I had time to get in? Would someone come to my aid? Would I need to ask a stranger for help?

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Nature calls

October 6, 2012 By Michaela Fox

Beautiful Coastal Natives

Life as a stay-at-home mother of three pre-schoolers is tough. It is also very busy. My three children are heavily dependant on me and they shadow me all day long. Life is spent primarily at the home and it’s a fairly domestic existence. Ground Hog Day is a common syndrome in an endless cycle of feeding, washing, nappy changing and sleeping. And, as every mum knows, there is no such thing as ‘free time’.

These days I do everything fast. I eat fast. Drink fast. Talk fast. Email fast. Walk fast. Shower fast. There is nothing leisurely about my day at all. It can be hard to enjoy your kids amidst the noise and business of daily life. At the moment I am focusing on meeting their primary needs and there’s not a lot of time leftover for anything else. A friend of mine recently asked me how I make space for ‘slow mothering’ as opposed to ‘fast mothering’.

I have just enjoyed four tranquil days of slow mothering.

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