Embracing the messy, mundane & momentous
Yesterday, 5 daughters, 5 sons-in-law and 14 grandchildren gathered together to celebrate my mum’s 70th birthday. And what a celebration it was! We enjoyed sensational food and wine in a gorgeous setting, vibrant and animated conversation (a staple of Fox family functions) and we toasted to a fine lady, loving and selfless mum, and all-round remarkable woman. If you want to read about why she’s so special, you can read about her here….
It’s been school holidays in Australia and although my little ones are not at school, it’s meant a break from preschool, occasional care and the girls’ activities. So we’ve had two weeks of moving at a slower pace and it’s been lovely. Here’s a little snapshot of some slow moments.
A few days of sand, sun, sea and salty air…….
Garden setting
A garden party was the ideal theme for my daughter’s birthday. Four years ago, on the thirteenth day in September, as nature burst into new life and the Jasmine flowers bloomed, my “Miss J” was born. It wasn’t a lovely labour – you can read about it here – but when she was placed in my arms I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Another girl. Another healthy baby. Another life full of possibility. A sister for Miss A. A second daughter for us and a tribe of cousins ready to meet her.
We had shortlisted our girl names but hadn’t yet decided on the “the one.” It’s tempting to say we wanted to wait to see her to name her, but the truth is we simply couldn’t make up our minds. We liked three girls’ names equally. It was my husband who named her shortly after her arrival. “I think she looks like a J,” he said. He was right. She was small, delicate and oh-so-pretty. That she should be named after a Spring flower, the scent of which makes me happy, seemed perfect. And so, “Miss J” she became….
A cuppa at a cafe
Modern life is fast and furious. We are overcommitted, overscheduled and over-connected. Most of us are working long hours, managing a family and social obligations, and trying to fit in exercise, errands, and all the other activities of modern life.
The majority of parents feel like they don’t have enough time for themselves, but mothers are especially burdened by this feeling. Whether you are working inside or outside the home, being a mother means making adjustments, compromises and sacrifices every day. Often, “me time” is made up of what scraps are leftover at the end of the day. I wrote this article recently about being in a state of mothering burnout. It resonated with so many women, partly because we women tend to overlook their own needs.
Taking time out for yourself is not indulgent; it is critical, but it doesn’t come easily. The good news,as I have discovered, is it gets easier with practice. Here are four tips to help you get some of the often elusive, yet all-important, “me time.”…
About a quarter of a century ago my parents wisely bought a holiday house in a very unique part of the world. I have written here about my love of this place. Growing up we spent every summer down at the beach and, for me, it represents everything that is good about childhood. It’s where coast meets country and the air is filled with the scent of pine and salt. It’s my “sweet spot”. It’s where I go to reset, recharge and refocus. It’s where I go to relax. It’s where I go to regift the experiences that my parents gave to me. It’s my happy place….
Many bloggers do this thing called “Wordless Wednesday” and today I am getting on board. As the name suggests, it’s a post with few words. Today I’ve decided to let my pictures do the talking. Here’s how Miss A and I spent our morning.
…
It is often said, amongst parents, that a holiday with young kids is a bit of a scam, with less of the relaxing part and more of the effort part. Whilst it’s true you need to redefine your expectations of a holiday when you have little ones, it’s possible to relax, reset and recharge. You just need to pick the right time, the right destination and have the right attitude. Two weeks ago I posted here about my hopes, fears and goals for this holiday. And the verdict is in.
Here are my top ten reasons in favour of holidaying with little ones, and why Noosa is the ideal destination….
A sense of humour is key to being a happier mum
There is a saying exchanged amongst married men that goes something like this: Happy wife, happy life! The chances are you have heard it. And perhaps there is some truth to it -the men obviously think so. But what happens when kids come along? Does the code change?
I believe that happy kids = happy mum; and happy mum = happy hubby; and happy hubby = happy family; and happy family = happy life. Sounds simple enough right? But there’s something wrong with this order. The evidence strongly suggests that kids respond positively to happy parents. If they sense frustration, conflict or despondence, this can have a knock-on effect to their self-esteem as well as their behaviour. We need to be happy within ourselves first. So, how to be a happier mum?…
A fresh peach, still warm from the sun!
I have a very special tree in my garden. Actually, I have three. But let me tell you about the first one.
For the birth of my first daughter, a dear friend of mine gave me a small peach tree to welcome her into the world. Amongst all the gorgeous clothes, soft toys and nursery items she received, this tree was unique. I remember thinking my friend was so clever to give a gift that would grow alongside my daughter. And it has.
This spring, my daughter’s peach tree flowered – a sign of fruit to follow. Over the spring, we had the loveliest time watering the tree and observing the natural life cycle of plants. Being three and a half, this was the first year my daughter really understood that this was her tree and a very special gift she had received….
Beautiful Coastal Natives
Life as a stay-at-home mother of three pre-schoolers is tough. It is also very busy. My three children are heavily dependant on me and they shadow me all day long. Life is spent primarily at the home and it’s a fairly domestic existence. Ground Hog Day is a common syndrome in an endless cycle of feeding, washing, nappy changing and sleeping. And, as every mum knows, there is no such thing as ‘free time’.
These days I do everything fast. I eat fast. Drink fast. Talk fast. Email fast. Walk fast. Shower fast. There is nothing leisurely about my day at all. It can be hard to enjoy your kids amidst the noise and business of daily life. At the moment I am focusing on meeting their primary needs and there’s not a lot of time leftover for anything else. A friend of mine recently asked me how I make space for ‘slow mothering’ as opposed to ‘fast mothering’.
I have just enjoyed four tranquil days of slow mothering.
…