Not another slippery dip

Embracing the messy, mundane & momentous

A break up letter

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Sunbeam Coffee machine

True love never dies…wait for me!

Dear CB,

I can’t bear to break up with you face-to-face so I am shamefully doing it on social media. Apparently this is the new norm. It’s so “yesterday” to break up in person. Immediately after I post this, I will change my FB status, and everyone will know we are officially over.

I am not abandoning you forever. We just need to take a break, but it could be for a while. And it may be a cliché, but in this case it’s true: it’s not you, it’s me. You’ve done nothing wrong. Please don’t take it personally, although I know you will. How could you not? We’ve spent so many good times together. Every day I wake up and you are the first thing I think about. You are my rock. And you’ve got me through some tough times. You are reliable, strong, robust and so much more. You strengthen me, and inspire me. So why am I doing this? Well, before you ask is there someone else, I am going to come right out and say it. Yes, there is someone else….

And that someone is more important than you. Yes, I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth. Believe me I haven’t come to this decision lightly, but I see no other choice. You are causing major problems in my life and you don’t even know it. In fact, I didn’t even know until recently. And we must go cold turkey. I have to stand on my own two feet without you so please don’t make this harder than it already is. I need to remove all evidence of you from my house, as reminders of you will only make me pine. I’m afraid I have to send you packing!

I know you’re going to demand to know who this other person is, and you have every right, so let me tell you. Adorable she may be, she is making my life miserable. I am in love with her, but she’s a writhing, wailing nightmare most of the time. She wakes, feeds, screams and screams some more. WAKE. SCREAM. FEED. SCREAM. REPEAT.

I have it on good authority that you are contributing to the problem. And sadly, I must give up our other close companion too. You see, coffee and chocolate are not compatible with a reflux baby. I don’t want to break up with you, but we must part ways for a while.

Remember, it’s not you – it’s me. Correction, it’s HER! And she’s got loud lungs. Like really, really loud lungs. And you are making them louder! I do hope our break is only temporary. I will miss you and I am longing for our reunion already.

Please don’t be mad that I am putting you in the shed. I will unbox you again one day. I still love you, but I love this wailing creature just a little bit more. I hope we can all live together harmoniously one day. Until then, there can be no further contact. It’s just too hard.

Please wait for me, Coffee Bean.

Always your faithful lover,

Mother of a reflux baby xx

Coffee

Until we meet again….

Have you ever had to eliminate something from your diet? Hit me with your survival and substitute tips. It seems very cruel that a new mum should have to give up chocolate and coffee!! 

4 ways to boost your emotional health

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A happy and healthy mum must prioritise her emotional health.

A happier and healthier mum has benefits for the whole family.

“You can’t pour from an empty vessel” is a well-worn motto for a reason. And yet as mothers we are notorious for putting ourselves last and prioritising the welfare of others. We want to be everything to everyone and more often than not we land at the bottom of the heap. We neglect our own emotional health. Sound familiar?

Motherhood can be a deeply fulfilling experience but it can also be challenging and confronting. You hit the ground running, without training but with full responsibility. It is relentless, demanding and all-consuming. And this is on a good day. When things go a bit pear-shaped, or life throws some epic challenges at you, it can feel impossible.

At various times I have suffered complete motherhood burnout. At one point a doctor said to me, “You can’t drive around on an empty tank forever. Sooner or later you will run out of petrol and break down.” These words rang true for me as I had been totally neglecting my emotional health. I put some measures in place to prioritise my own health and wellbeing.

Here are 4 ways I have built my emotional health:

  1. Good enough parenting

If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know I am a staunch supporter of “good enough” parenting. Shortly after the birth of my third child, when I was deep in the baby/toddler trenches I made the liberating decision to lower my expectations and standards. At a time when my life was turned completely upside down and chaos became my norm (having three kids under three will do that to you!),I had to kick “perfect” to the curb and get satisfied with “satisfactory”. It was a revelation. I don’t try to be the perfect mum anymore. Besides, the “perfect” mum is a myth. I accept that I’m a flawed human being but I think I get it right more than I get it wrong. And I am sure you do too!

  1. Ditch the guilt

I know this is a hard one for mums, as we seem to feel guilty from the moment of conception. And sometimes it occurs even earlier than conception! But we need to make a conscious effort not to allow guilt to tarnish the joy of motherhood and affect our self-esteem. “Mummy guilt” can be toxic and often it is unwarranted and unhelpful. We need to trust our instincts more and listen to others less. I do not feel weighed down by mother guilt. Certainly there are times when I feel pangs of guilt, like when I recently missed my daughter’s first certificate at Assembly! But mostly, it is temporary – I don’t feel consumed by guilt.

  1. Me time

Repeat after me: “Me time” is not an indulgence, it is a necessity.” The following statement is a myth: “A good parent always puts their child’s needs ahead of their own”. I wish I had learned this much earlier on but it took me some time. I look back now and I think I lost a sense of my self in early motherhood. I wanted to be always available and I gave so much of myself but I forgot about me. It’s taken me a while to realise that giving back to myself is not selfish and it’s not a luxury – it’s essential. I have been a happier and healthier mum since I realised that I matter too. In fact my needs matter just as much as the kids’ needs.  These days I prioritise “me time” even if it’s a simple activity like going for a walk by myself. Nature instantly restores me and I make sure I let it work its magic on me several times a week.

4 ways to boost your emotional health

Walking in nature is an instant mood booster!

  1. Regularly “check in” with yourself

The way to avoid mum burnout is to check in with yourself regularly, so you can see it coming. You shouldn’t have to emotionally combust to realise you need replenishing. These days I am much better at recognising the signs of exhaustion, burnout and anxiety and I can do something about it.

There is a great tool that makes it easier than ever to check in. mummatters is a free tool that you can save to your phone’s home screen. You can use it during pregnancy and in the year after birth, to help you get a better sense of how you are going. In less than five minutes you are guided through a series of questions to gauge where your emotional health is at. And, if more support is ever needed, mummatters can help you find it. mummatters will also remind you when you next need to check in to see how you’re going. And I am all for reminders!

Do you find it hard to prioritise yourself? What do you do when your mood needs a boost?

* Disclosure: NASD is partnering with Bupa on a series of emotional health blog posts. This is the first in a three-part series.

flowers large bunch

The app to help your family eat healthier

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Everything in moderation

A healthy approach to family life

If you’ve been following this blog for a while now you’ll know that I follow the “good-enough” method of parenting. I also subscribe to the “anything in moderation” approach to most things – screens, sugar, time spent at the park! I am fairly relaxed when it comes to my kids’ health. They are allowed occasional treats, but I present a balanced and nutritious diet during the week. I don’t really say ‘no’ to any food (apart from Sherbert, which if I find in a party bag it is instantly binned) but rather I restrict how much they have of ‘sometimes’ food. But recently I’ve noticed how sugar is sneakily creeping into our diets more frequently than it should. And I want our family to be healthier. Foods that used to be occasional have snuck into the every day variety. 

Not all of this is my choice, mind you. Send them to the grandparents for the weekend and sugar is in abundance. But grandparents are allowed to spoil their grandkids and when they’re on their turf, they set the rules. But every weekend seems to present yet another kids’ birthday party and in most cases these events come with plenty of fun, and sugar!…

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Healthy lunchbox snacks

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Mini rice cake snacks

Mini rice cake snacks

I don’t know about you but I find the lunchbox daily ritual rather tedious. Come to think of it, I find the dinnertime ritual pretty tedious too, but you know, kids must eat and all that!

The sandwich component of the lunch box doesn’t stress me, as I know my girls will eat a healthy salad wrap or sandwich. But, I do find it harder to come up with healthy snacks other than fruit. Miss A is a great fruit eater, Miss J is not, and Miss H is somewhere in between. I went through a bad stage (lazy stage) where I would buy store-bought muesli bars, which were not only expensive but also loaded with sugar and other nasties. Finally I came across a healthy homemade muesli bar recipe, which has been a hit with the girls.

But I don’t have time to bake nutritious snacks every day so I was thrilled to discover Table of Plenty’s new offering: mini rice snacks. These naturally crunchy wholegrain rice cakes are gluten free, wheat free and contain no artificial flavours or palm oil (the latter is a deal breaker for me!). The dark choc flavour is also dairy free.

Perfect for the kids' lunch boxes

Perfect for the kids’ lunch boxes

My girls have declared the triple berry yoghurt their favourite flavour. It is topped with creamy yoghurt topping sweetened naturally by pure forest berries. These yummy treats are perfect the kids’ lunchboxes or for a snack on the go. I now have a packet permanently in my handbag for the following occasions:

  • When my kids say they’re hungry in the car (because even on a ten-minute drive someone will say they’re hungry;
  • When I need to buy/bribe more time while I am shopping; food always seems to keep them quiet for a few moments;
  • When we’re hanging around waiting at school pick up or after school ballet and I need something to get them through to dinner.
    Lunchbox snacks

    Lunchbox snacks

    Convenient, healthy, yum!

    Convenient, healthy, yum!

What’s more, they are YUMMY!!! My girls think they are delicious and with only 17 calories per rice cake, I reckon they’re a winner.

Table of Plenty rice cakes

Table of Plenty rice cakes

Do you struggle with appropriate, healthy snacks for your kids’ lunchboxes? What goes into your lunchboxes? Ideas other than fruit especially welcome.

* Disclosure: NASD partnered with Table of Plenty on this post. All views expressed in this review are my own.

What every family needs

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Family

If you have a healthy family, you have everything


Sponsored Post. All views are my own.

Before I had kids I spent very little time at the doctor’s. Apart from my annual women’s check up, I didn’t need to visit my GP much as I didn’t get sick often. Now that I have three little ones, I am there every other week. Along with my local pharmacist, a visit to our local GP is about as regular as a trip to Bunnings!

There are some things that kids share very well. Germs. Unlike their toys they’re not particularly territorial about germs. On the contrasty they’re very generous with passing these on. Add to this the bone brushing fatigue that most mums experience, our immune systems are often depleted and we get sick more frequently.

Becoming a mum redefines exhaustion. It also rearranges your priorities. And one thing I’ve discovered is the importance of having a good family GP. A good GP is vital when you are raising a family. When I was growing up we had the same GP for twenty years. And while this isn’t always possible if you move suburbs, continuity of care is one of the many benefits of having a trusted local GP.

Kids get sick. Colds, coughs, gastro, ear infections, conjunctivitis are just the beginning. Fortunately my kids have never been really sick and they find going to the doctor a highly exciting experience.

Since becoming a mum I have relied on my lovely GP more than ever before. And it’s not only for my children’s’ health. My health, while fairly good overall, has needed more attention in the past few years. Two big events come to mind.

About 18 moths ago I experienced anxiety for the fist time in my life. At the time my husband and I were going through a stressful time of deciding whether to uproot our family and move overseas for his work. His employment situation in Australia was not secure and we considered a move to the US. I felt the huge burden of having to make a decision with significant implications for the family. And it took a toll on my mental health. To help us make this decision it required a trip to the US to check out schools and housing etc. It meant leaving our children for nine days.

I was incredibly tense about this, having never left them before and I began to feel highly anxious. I remember making an appointment with my GP and bursting into tears when I tried to explain how I was feeling. I was having trouble sleeping, and felt panicked as the day drew closer to leave them. Morbid thoughts like what would happen if the plane crashed and our kids were left alone without parents occupied my mind. My lovely GP listened to me as I explained my situation and was reassuring. It felt good to have someone listen to me. She prescribed me a low dose of anxiety medication to help in the lead up to the flight, and to have before take off. And it helped. It helped a lot.

More recently I saw my GP for another traumatic time in my life. I suspected I was miscarrying. And I was right. For someone who is quite guarded with my emotion, it was surprisingly easy to cry to my GP. My GP was sympathetic, reassuring, and gave me the quality of care that eased some of my suffering. She not only addressed the physical side of my pregnancy loss, but the emotional side too. She answered all my questions with compassion. She assured me that I was not to blame as I had worried that the death of my auntie and the stress it had caused, may have resulted in my miscarriage. She passed me tissues. She gave me hope, probably the most important quality a GP can have is offering patients optimism. And she helped distract my kids with colouring in so that I could shield them from my tears.

First scan

First scan

A good GP

I have so much respect for General Practitioners. Each day they see patients presenting with myriad symptoms and concerns. The good GP understands the importance of getting to know you and your children. The good GP is someone who can rely on and trust. The good GP provides safe, quality, and efficient care. The good GP helps people with everything from the flu to pregnancy, diabetes, sleeping problems, mental health illnesses and cancer. And the good GP never stops learning, thanks to the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners.

Did you know that GPs are actually ‘specialists’? They’re specialists in General Practice and that means being knowledgeable across 22,000 different illnesses!

On a good day I struggle to remember 22 names!!

Everyone needs a good GP. Do you have one? Tell me below how frequently you visit your GP.

4 Easy ways to reduce stress

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Hands up if you feel stressed? Yep, me too? Modern life is fast and furious. We are over-committed, over-scheduled and over-connected. While not all stress is bad, if left unchecked it can have a major impact on our lives, affecting our physical health, personal relationships and our mental wellbeing. Fortunately, in many cases, examining the triggers and approaching the condition from the right mindset can help to manage stress. Next time you feel your stress levels rising, try these effective ways to help restore calmness, allowing you to gain a sense of control over your situation….

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3 things that keep me centred when life gets tough

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Magnificent maple

Magnificent maple

The past few weeks have been tough for me. Actually, scrap that. The past few MONTHS have been tough. No, scrap that too. The past YEAR has been tough! A combination of unfortunate life events has made it a very stressful and difficult time and my emotions have been all over the place. My husband’s ongoing unemployment, financial stress, missed opportunities, family worries, the recent death of a very close family member, uncertainty around life direction, and that’s merely the short list. It has been a turbulent and uncertain time. And I don’t like uncertainty. I rather like to know what’s coming next. Stability. Structure. Purpose. Direction. This is where I am most comfortable. But sometimes life throws you some curve balls and you have no choice but to sink or swim. Here are three things that help me to stay afloat when I feel like I am drowning:…

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The ultimate Berry blast smoothie recipe

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Berry blast smoothie

Berry blast smoothie

We have a few rituals in our family. Sundays are typically SLOW SUNDAYS, where we take a break from the hectic pace of the week. I try not to schedule in anything on this one day of the week. It’s all about family time and I love it! We begin the day with a fresh fruit smoothie. My girls are reasonably good at eating fruit but I like to top them up on the weekend and a smoothie is the perfect way to do this. We’ve had this ritual for as long as we’ve been parents and it gets us off on the right foot for the day. The blender we received as a wedding gift, eight years ago, has come to the end of its natural life. It had a good innings so I was not sorry to see it go. Instead I was DELIGHTED to welcome the George Foreman Mix & Go PRO into the kitchen and into my family….

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7 signs you are an over-thinker, like me.

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A mind that doesn't stop

A mind that doesn’t stop

If the headline of this piece grabbed your attention, there’s a good chance you identify as an over-thinker. Well, welcome to the club! I am a chronic over-thinker. I over-think, well, pretty much everything. In fact, I over-thought his story for so long, I almost didn’t write it. Procrastination is a by-product of an over-thinking mind. Over-thinkers tend to over-exert the brain and consequently we over-analyse EVERYTHING. Interestingly, if you’re an over-thinker, you probably won’t have to think too long to relate to this.

Here are six signs that you’re an over thinker:

  1. You suffer from Decision Anxiety

No decision is quick for the over-thinker. Over-thinkers micro-analyse every possible aspect of a decision, rehearsing potential scenarios and calculating outcomes in their head. The over-thinker is often burdened – actually make that paralysed – by indecision. Being an experienced chronic over-thinker myself, eating out presents major challenges. The longer the menu, the more difficult my choice. I will agonise over the options, mentally weighing up the strengths and weaknesses of each dish. And when finally I come to a decision and order the mushroom risotto, I take one look at it and immediately wish I ordered the fish. Disappointment and “buyer’s remorse” inevitably follows whatever decision I make….

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Why you need a kid free weekend

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Ahhh, welcome to Sydney!

Ahhh, welcome to Sydney!

When Mr NASD asked me to keep a weekend in November free, I was naturally curious. He offered little information other than the significant detail that it would be a KID FREE weekend. He arranged for the girls to go to his parents for two nights and he told me nothing else. The destination was a mystery….

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