Newborn Photography Shoot

April 17, 2017 By Michaela Fox 7 Comments

Gazing at my 72-hour-old baby

Ten little fingers and ten little toes; there’s an irresistible magic about newborns. The arrival of a baby is an occasion of unparalleled joy and I’ve been blessed to experience this four times. Until recently we have never had any professional baby photos taken of our girls. So this time, knowing full well Miss I is our fourth and final baby, we hired a newborn photographer to take some family portraits. I had a very short stint in hospital (23 hours) which was fine as I was eager to get back to my girls. Bringing our baby home this time around was vastly different to the previous times. The excitement, love and breathlessness that greeted us was out of this world. I will never forget their eyes, brimming with excitement and wonder as we arrived home with their baby sister.

Those first few days as a family of six were so special. I had already chosen a newborn photographer during my pregnancy. We didn’t want anything styled or manufactured; we wanted natural photos – nothing forced or contrived. The lovely Nicolle Kennedy came to our house and stayed with us for a few hours. She understood what we wanted – simple, understated photos of our family. We asked her to take authentic photos without props or poses. And we think she captured the magic of our moment beautifully. Miss I is barely 72 hours’ old in these photos. I am not sure we had even given her a bath yet! If you look closely I think her hair still looks a little mucky! But I love how fresh, raw and new she is – exquisite, beautiful and utterly perfect. Here is a selection of the photos taken at our photography shoot.

Newborn Photography Session with Miss I

Miss J is completely smitten with her baby sister

Newborn photography with my eldest and youngest daughters

Mama with her eldest and youngest daughters. Miss A shared the magic of my pregnancy with me every single day.

Barely three days old…

Wrapping Miss I in the same wrap that I used for Miss A. All four girls have been wrapped in it.

Mama, dada and baby

Newborn photography shoot. My 72 hour old baby girl

My 72 hour old baby girl. Love a baby in a singlet and nappy!

Luckiest parents in the world!

My ‘rainbow baby’. After three losses and a very traumatic year, she is here!

I’m so happy we have these precious photos. Babies are not newborns for very long – they quickly lose their floppiness and squishiness. I can’t believe she was ever this tiny! These photos have captured a glimpse of time, which we will hold onto forever. If we were going to have a fifth baby (which we’re not – so don’t panic, Mr NASD!!) I would have a birth photographer to capture THAT raw experience.

Did you have a birth photographer? Have you had any newborn photos professionally taken?

4 sanity savers for new mums

February 20, 2017 By Michaela Fox 5 Comments

My favourite “hands up” pose…

Life with a newborn baby is a breeze, said no parent EVER! No matter how prepared or experienced you are are, life with a new baby is HARD WORK. Those first few weeks (hey, even those first few months) can be pretty intense.

Caring for a newborn is time-consuming and draining. There’s little in the way of downtime as you deal with round-the-clock feeds, poonamis and crying spells, visitors and appointments, not to mention your own physical healing. For the first week or so, just getting out of your PJs is a major accomplishment!

And if you thought life was busy with one baby, your definition of “busy” changes dramatically with the addition of subsequent children. Now that I am a mum of four (still kind of freaks me out when I say that) I need to cut corners, multi-task, and prioritise in order to survive. There are a few things that helped save my sanity, particularly in the early weeks. If you’re about to become a mum for the first, second, or third time, here are four things that I found useful….

My baby is 10 weeks old

February 12, 2017 By Michaela Fox 6 Comments

Ain’t nothing better than a sleeping baby!

Boo! Guess what? This baby is 10 weeks old!

My name is Miss I. My parents named me after a country they visited on their honeymoon. They considered naming me “Summer”, but I tricked them by arriving in Spring. I like tricking them – it’s fun! My hobbies include cluster feeding, nipple bruising, cat napping and waking up as soon as they think I am asleep. I am particularly good at interrupting mama when she attempts any of the following:

Pours a coffee
Turns on the shower
Reaches for her phone
Attempts a conversation, and:
My personal favourite – when she tries to have a nap!

…

Life with Miss I: The first 6 Weeks

January 16, 2017 By Michaela Fox

Lots of newborn snuggles…

It’s hard to believe that six weeks have passed since I met my beautiful rainbow baby. My last blog post featured Miss I’s arrival into the world after a fast and furious labour. If you missed her birth story you can read it here and here. The moments and hours after her birth were magical. When she was placed on my chest and we lay skin-to-skin, my heart swelled to the point of explosion. I soaked up her newborn smell and gazed in amazement as she slowly but surely made her way over to my breast and began gentle sucking. Isn’t it incredible the way babies instinctively know how to find the breast? We lay together like this for a few hours and I resisted separation. But I was a meconium-covered mess, so eventually I agreed to a shower. And how good that shower felt!

But the moment etched into my memory is when my girls came into the hospital the next morning to meet her. Mr NASD brought them in before school and Miss I was about 14 hours old. I heard them before I saw them; their excited giggles filled the hospital ward as they got closer to my room. And when they opened the door and I saw their little faces, flushed with excitement and awe, my heart melted. I felt more emotional then than I did when Miss I was born. It was an experience of pure, profound joy – a stark contrast to the grief when I miscarried and mourned not only the loss of the pregnancy but the loss of sharing my new baby news. My girls were giddy with joy as they each took turns in holding their baby sister. It was beautiful and the love in that room was, quite simply, mind blowing. I did wonder whether their excitement might wane and the novelty of having a baby in the family would be confined to a “honeymoon” period. But six weeks on their love is as strong as the moment that laid eyes on her.

So, what has life been like since we welcomed Miss I into the world and into our lives? Well, in a word – busy! I have been thrust back into newborn land where days are characterised by feeding, settling, changing and repeat! Life has followed a fairly predictable script. That is to say, life with a newborn baby is predictably unpredictable. I have been feeling all the feels, with my moods swinging as they do from euphoria to exhaustion and so much in between. On any given day I feel elated, exhausted, frustrated, excited, grateful, euphoric, and perplexed. I spent 80% of my time milking like a cow and Googling variations of “Signs of Colic”, “How to settle an unsettled baby” and “My baby has wind”. More on this aspect of new motherhood later…

But mostly, I feel so bloody lucky. I am not one to use the throw around the word “blessed” and I certainly never add #blessed to my IG posts, but I am struggling to find another word that accurately describes how I feel. I spend a lot of time gazing at this gorgeous baby (if I am not madly pacing in an attempt to settle her) and pinching myself at how lucky I am. It’s school holiday time in Australia, which means a reprieve from the madness of school and kinder commitments. We have nowhere to be and this frees me up to enjoy her more. Without the pressures of a strict routine I am able to linger over my cuddles, gaze at those teeny tiny toes, and delight in the magic of newborns.

This is not to say life is all rainbows and daisy chains. It hasn’t been easy. But mostly I feel relaxed about everything, and that includes the challenges. Perhaps it’s because she’s my rainbow baby and I worked so hard to get her. Perhaps it’s because she’s my last baby and I long to hold onto every moment. Perhaps it’s because she’s so darn adorable. Most likely it’s a combination of all these reasons that in spite of her aversion to sleep, I am embracing everything about this newborn stage (ok, well not absolutely everything!!). I love babies and I know all too well that their floppiness doesn’t last long. And this time I am fiercely guarding my time with her, and soaking up every ounce of newborn gorgeousness.

Life with a newborn: 6 weeks in stills

Little Miss 1 at two weeks…

And at 3 weeks!

I spent a lot of time drinking her in, marvelling at her tiny fingers…

And admiring her teeny tiny toes….

I took a gazillion photos of her…

My favourite “hands up” pose…

Lots of time spent snuggling in bed….

Every morning we are joined in my bed by her sisters.

It’s been very hot so she’s been chilling out in a nappy and singlet!

My darling Miss I,

Thank you for choosing us as your family. Thank you for choosing me as your mama. I have wanted you for a very long time. You complete our family and I will protect and support you always. I am the luckiest mama alive. I love you more than I can put into words.

Mama xxx

The storm has definitely passed….

Do you remember what the first six weeks was like with your newborn? Are you a baby person? I apologise if this post has made any ovaries explode! 🙂

Miss I’s Birth Story – Part 1

December 15, 2016 By Michaela Fox

Still smiling during early labour.

You’d think considering I’ve done this three times before I would be able to recognise the signs of labour. Wrong. For many hours on the day of Miss I’s birth, I was foolishly unaware that my waters had broken and she was on her way. I mistakenly confused my gushing waters with my mucous plug. What an amateur!!! They say every labour is different and having been through childbirth four times now I categorically agree. Allow me to recount Miss I’s Birth Story. It was a fast and furious labour once “established” and had a few surprises along the way. This is her story…dun dun (insert Law and Order music for theatrical effect).

In order to (partially) justify my ignorance that labour was imminent I need to explain a few things.

All my other babies have come late. I never expected that this one would be any different, despite being told that she was as low as she could go in the preceding weeks.
I have never experienced my waters breaking. This has only ever happened to me during the pushing stages of labour, literally as bubba was crowning!
All my previous labours started with contractions, which built over many hours (or days as was the case with my first) and so I’ve never paid much attention to pre-labour signs.
Full disclosure: I have never attended birthing classes. Not a single one. This might seem crazy, especially as I like to be prepared in all other areas of my life, but instead I just thought I would “wing it” and take directions on the day. Yeah, a bit nuts, I know!

This is how the events of Miss I’s arrival unfolded…

Birth Story Part 1: Early labour

On the morning of the 29^th of November (4 days before my official due date) I sat up in bed and felt a gush of fluid escape me. Weird, I thought. I asked Mr NASD to grab me a towel, and I quickly flooded that one too. He asked me if he should stay at home but I assured him it was probably nothing and told him to go to work as normal. So he did. Meanwhile I did a quick Google search and thought it sounded like my mucous plug had dislodged (clearly I wasn’t thorough enough in my research). So I texted my midwife and told her this was what was happening. Her response: “All pointing in the right direction, although it can still take days for labour to start.” So, I carried on as normal.

A few hours later, with a continuous flow, I wondered if perhaps I was wrong in my initial assessment. Perhaps it was my hind waters breaking, or something like that. I had heard someone at school mention that’s how her labour started. My sister rang and when I explained my symptoms she was incredulous, and stern. “Michaela, that’s not your mucous plug! Your waters are breaking. You need to call the hospital now.” And she promptly hung up. I followed her advice, and my midwife said to immediately come in for examination.

I texted Mr NASD with an update. “Don’t worry, I’ll probably just be sent home again. No need to leave work.” He called immediately. “Call a friend and ask them to drive you in. Or get a taxi.” I assured him I would, and then I hung up, grabbed something to eat (just in case I’d need some energy) and drove myself into the hospital. Along the way my contractions continued but they were infrequent and manageable. Plus, I’d been having Braxton Hicks for months and so I didn’t think it was the real deal yet. I also felt calmer driving myself in. I didn’t want panic and things were starting to get very “real” so I took my time.

Leaving for the hospital!

At the hospital I was seen by a midwife who gave me a prescription (to reduce the risk of an infection getting into the uterus). She told me to go home, relax and take the antibiotics at midnight and come back the next day. She was walking me out when, as an afterthought, she asked to see my pad. Luckily she did as she took one look at it and told me I wasn’t going anywhere. My waters contained meconium and this meant bub was coming, one way or another. She ushered me immediately to the birthing suite.

Being in the birthing suite makes it VERY real!

My midwife, who I had seen throughout my pregnancy as part of the hospital’s fantastic Midwife Program, came to see me. She explained that I needed to be on foetal heart monitor right up until the birth as baby could be in distress. She also told me the doctors wanted to induce me straight away. I was shocked. I was having a baby. Today! Suddenly it felt too soon and I felt a bit panicked by not being “prepared.” Also, having been induced once before, I was reluctant to do it again as it had been a traumatic labour. I objected and asked for more time. She went back to the doctors and said they had agreed to give me two hours, which was “generous.” If, after two hours, I wasn’t in established labour, they would induce me immediately. So I got up out of the bed and moved about, willing bubba to come on his/her own without intervention. I didn’t realise how fast things would progress…

Today is the the day I will meet my rainbow baby!

Oh…. and I sent a text to Mr NASD. It was short and to the point:

“I think you better leave work now.”

Be sure to read Part 2 of my birth story for the “active labour” details, a scare during delivery, bubba’s arrival, and the most unusual placenta to be seen by my birthing team!

How have your labours started? Were they spontaneous or did you get induced?

Becoming a mum: adjusting to a new identity

November 28, 2016 By Michaela Fox

The fog of early motherhood

If there’s one thing that no pregnancy guide or baby book can prepare you for, it’s the shell shock you feel in those first few weeks of bringing your new baby home. Becoming a mum is life-changing!

Of course, we are told this but you can’t truly comprehend it until you experience it for yourself. New motherhood is a rocky ride! There is no induction. No manual. No training. You have to learn on the job! In fact, if the responsibilities and conditions were outlined in a job ad, I am not sure it would receive many applicants! And yet, many of us keep going back for more….

As a first-time mother you devote all your time and energy to your newborn baby. It’s a steep learning curve and being responsible for a little baby is all consuming. I’ve been reflecting on those early days of new motherhood. I remember when Mr NASD and I prepared to leave the maternity hospital with Miss A. She was sound asleep in her capsule and I was a mixed bundle of excitement and apprehension. When we got to the exit I remember thinking, “Are they really going to let us leave here with this baby?” I half expected an alarm to go off and security to come and take the baby off us. I mean, we weren’t experienced or responsible enough to care for a tiny baby, were we?

As it turned out, no alarm went off and no one paid us any attention as we left the hospital, and began our very slow and cautious drive home from the hospital. When we arrived back at our inner city home (because the ‘burbs hadn’t come calling yet) I remember staring at our tiny person in utter disbelief. We were home. We were parents. We had a baby. Officially we were grown ups!

Any day now I will be returning to newborn land, where days are characterised by (what seem to be) endless feeds, nappy changes and an unrelenting sleep fog. I remember those days well. And I am staring down the barrel of them again, after a four-year hiatus.

New motherhood brings so many changes. And I am not just talking about leaking boobs, a merciless fatigue and a weak pelvic floor! Amid the wild celebrations and emotional vertigo, there can be some intense emotional pressures and challenges. You hear it’s tough, often tiring and sometimes tedious (sometimes?), but you can’t really understand it until you’re living it.

For me, I found the physical changes easier to adjust to. I’m not saying I enjoyed living in a perpetual state of fatigue for 12 months, but I was able to cope with it. What I found more challenging, and less discussed, was the sense that as I had become a mum, I had lost a sense of my “self”. Having worked in a corporate environment in a role that involved travel, responsibility, decisions and change, I suddenly found myself alone at home spending a lot of time on the floor. I struggled with the monotony of motherhood; the lack of interaction, adult conversation, the “buzz” of an office. The soundtrack of the Wiggles played on an endless loop in my head and I tired easily over conversations about poo, sleep and milk.

By far the most difficult adjustment for me was the way motherhood altered my sense of space. In short, it destroyed it. My “Velcro” baby was so attached to me that I couldn’t be apart from her. I wanted to be needed, but I needed some space too. But it can feel impossible to keep a sense of your self when there is a person whose very purpose is to need you. I couldn’t reconcile these conflicting needs and so I gave myself entirely to motherhood.

I am sure my experience is true of many first-time mums. If only I knew then what I know now. Sacrificing yourself entirely for your baby does not make you a better mum. It makes you an exhausted mum and can compromise your health. I now know that my role as a mother is important but it doesn’t exclusively define me.

New resources are being developed all the time to assist mums with the transition to new motherhood, like Bupa’s mummatters. mummatters is a mobile tool that is designed to help women who are pregnant, or just had a baby, look after their emotional wellbeing. It emphasises the importance of ‘me’ time and encourages you to regularly ‘check-in’ with how you’re feeling, which is so important at this time. And if more help is ever needed, mummatters can help you find it.

Becoming a mother is life-changing. Literally overnight you become responsible for an extension of yourself; you become a lifeline. The good news is lifelines are available to you too. As I approach motherhood for the fourth time I feel so relaxed about it. I know that in order to be a happy mum, I must give back to myself to. And the mummatters app is a fabulous way for me to stay on top of my emotional health and wellbeing.

How did you find the transition to new motherhood? Did you feel like it altered your sense of self? What was the hardest adjustment for you?

*This post was brought to you by Bupa.

I have some news…

June 20, 2016 By Michaela Fox

What’s inside these gifts?

You may have noticed things have been a little quiet around here the past few months. I’ve been doing my best to update this blog weekly, but it’s been hard going. But there’s a good reason for that. And there’s a very good reason I didn’t wake up with a hangover yesterday morning after my big 40^th bash! It’s not because I have finally learnt to pace myself with alcohol; it’s more a matter of forced abstinence.

You see, I am……

PREGNANT!!!!!!!

Just seeing myself type those words makes me emotional. It makes it real. Sharing this news with you makes me truly believe it is actially happening!!!

Woohoooooooooooooo!

Many of you know my deep longing to have another baby. Four has always been my “magic” number, but for a while there it seemed like three would be it. I have publicly shared my experiences with pregnancy loss, and there were early concerns with this pregnancy, but I am overjoyed to report that my 12-week scan showed perfect growth and a strong heartbeat. This baby is real. This baby is loved. And this baby will be here before Christmas!

I feel somewhat nervous to be sharing my news, for fear I may be jinxing myself. Pregnancy after miscarriage is a totally different experience and it really messes with your head. The first nine weeks were the longest weeks of my life. My body told me I was pregnant (the HcG hormone was loud and clear about that) but my mind had other ideas. Fear and hope fought a battle inside my head, with fear winning most days. The earliest I could get an ultrasound was 9 weeks and it was an agonising wait. I could not, and would not allow myself the excitement of a positive result. gestational and I was terrified that it was doing it again.

But, the 9-week scan indeed showed a gestational sack and a teeny tiny embryo within it. And the 12-wk scan showed an even bigger sack with a much bigger embryo, moving around and heart beating strong. My sonographer allayed my fears by saying, “Sick babies don’t wriggle. You can get excited now. This baby is growing perfectly.”

I have never in my life felt such relief, elation and emotion as I did in that moment. My dream was coming true. I clutched that ultrasound photo to my chest and went home to care for my 7-year-old who had gastro. Not the most pleasant thing to deal with when you feel like vomiting yourself, but I was armed with the best news possible.

While I was BUSTING to tell the girls our news, we decided to wait until my birthday to share it with them. Having never experienced the joy of telling one of my children the news they would be having a baby brother or sister, I was ridiculously excited. Each time I have been pregnant, my girls have been far to young to comprehend the news. So I knew this moment would be big, very big. And it was!!!!

The big reveal!

I wanted to have some fun with the announcement so I thought up a cute way of sharing the news with them. I chose to be a little cryptic and give “hints” at the news without coming straight out and telling them. I went shopping and bought some baby items, which I then wrapped up into three individual presents.

The clues…

After they had given me my birthday gifts, I told them that I had a gift for them too. They were naturally curious. I said the gift was fragile and precious and it was for the whole family to enjoy. More curiosity. I told them to sit down sofa to each receive a “clue” of what the big present might be. We went in order of age: youngest to oldest.

Miss H (4) was first to opened her little present. Inside the wrapping paper was a Huggies newborn nappy. Giggles and questions ensued as she pointed out that she wore knickers not nappies, silly mama!

A tiny tiny newborn nappy

Miss J (5) was next to open her gift. Inside her wrapping paper she discovered a newborn baby jumpsuit. This got them really confused. She held it up to Miss H and shook her head at me. Had I gone mad????

Baby joy!

Miss A (7) was the last to open up her gift. Inside she found a “Baby on board” car sign. She exploded into laughter and shook her head perplexed. “Mama, what are all these things? Why do we need a baby on board sign?”

The big reveal!!!

And then I passed her the final clue. Inside an envelope she opened up a card with the ultrasound photo inside, and the following words:

“I am growing inside mama’s tummy. I can’t wait to meet you all in December.”

And then the penny dropped, and shrieks of joy could have been heard from the next suburb. To say they were excited is an understatement of the biggest proportion. Not even on Christmas Day have I ever seen them as giddy with joy as they were in this moment. It was OFF THE CHARTS!!!

I can honestly say I have never experienced a moment as moving and emotional moment as this one. Not in my life. I will forever remember their reactions and the subsequent jumping up and down and shrieks of unparalleled joy.

Listen to their reaction

I recorded their reaction to preserve the moment. You can listen to the audio here. The first two minutes will give you the drift but there are some cracking one-liners further in if you want to listen to the full five minutes. It is totally adorable. Some of the comments are just too cute for words.

Since the announcement, the girls have been showering me love and pampering me non-stop. Miss H is completely obsessed. Her enthusiasm may have peaked and the next 6 months could be a long wait for her!!

I feel like the happiest and luckiest mama in the world. I also feel old. 40 and preggers hey? I never would have predicted it but I couldn’t be happier for it.

I am delighted to share this news with you all and I promise not to bore you with too much pregnancy/baby spam. But I am just a wee bit excited, so bear with me for now….

Baby No. 4 is due December 3!!!

15 weeks pregnant and over the moon!!!

My growing preggy belly

How do you know when your family is complete?

June 16, 2015 By Michaela Fox

Is there anything more exquisite than a sleeping baby?

Is your family complete? Some say you just ‘know’ when you’re done having babies. “This shop is closed!” is a refrain echoed by many friends who seem utterly convinced that the childbearing chapter of their lives is over. Conversely, some women say they “know” in no uncertain terms that they’re NOT done having babies. And then there are the fence sitters, a little like me. They can’t say they’re done, but they can’t say they’re not done either. So, how do you know when you’re really, truly done? Is there a perfect number?

…