Not another slippery dip

Embracing the messy, mundane & momentous

3 things that keep me centred when life gets tough

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Magnificent maple

Magnificent maple

The past few weeks have been tough for me. Actually, scrap that. The past few MONTHS have been tough. No, scrap that too. The past YEAR has been tough! A combination of unfortunate life events has made it a very stressful and difficult time and my emotions have been all over the place. My husband’s ongoing unemployment, financial stress, missed opportunities, family worries, the recent death of a very close family member, uncertainty around life direction, and that’s merely the short list. It has been a turbulent and uncertain time. And I don’t like uncertainty. I rather like to know what’s coming next. Stability. Structure. Purpose. Direction. This is where I am most comfortable. But sometimes life throws you some curve balls and you have no choice but to sink or swim. Here are three things that help me to stay afloat when I feel like I am drowning:

1. Connection

I am a fairly open person and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve for the most part. When the shit hits the fan I am quite comfortable telling my closest friends about it. Talking through things with a great listener is such a therapeutic experience. I am lucky to have people around me with whom I can bare my soul and I find this very reassuring. While there are many things that friends can’t “fix” a warm, attentive listener reminds you that you are not alone and there is great comfort in that. Here, on the blog, I am fairly open too. I share a lot of my challenges and troubles but naturally there are things that are too personal and private to disclose.

2. Books

At night I love nothing more than to disappear into a gripping novel, preferably to a place and plot that removes me temporarily from my own. It is escapism and it is wonderful! Particularly over the last month as I have had trouble sleeping, I have sought solace in reading before sleep and it has helped settle my mind. A life without books would be terribly empty and I am so grateful to be a book lover. And because I feel like sharing some book love, let me recommend two books that I have found utterly absorbing recently: big little lies by Liane Moriarty (a character-rich page turner, full of twists and turns with a very satisfying ending) and Still Alice by Lisa Genova, a mesmerising and heart-wrenching story about a Harvard professor’s experience with early onset Alzheimer’s disease.

3. Nature

It is simple. Nature nourishes my soul and puts me back together again when I feel broken. I walk or run every single day and mostly I prefer to do this alone. Solitude allows my mind time to breathe. And heavens knows it needs it! It is noisy in there! Being alone offers me the quiet space for reflection and self-exploration, something that is impossible to do in a crowd. I understand myself better in, and for, these quiet moments. And quite frankly, it’s simply lovely. There’s a lot to love about connection, but great company can also be found in solitude. How do you stay centred? What things do you do to help you manage life’s challenges, worries and noise? 

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Comments

  1. It’s tough hearing that your year is being so unkind to you Michaela. Just the unemployment alone is enough to send any family into volcanic stress levels, but with everything else going on… whoa! I’m so glad you have your three ‘happy places’ to retreat to. I think each one of these is a tool I also use to get through the hard times. I’m an open person too and have never had a problem letting people know that I need them. We are very lucky that way. x

    • Thanks, Bron. Yes, I find it much more useful to give an honest answer to the question, “How are you?”. I prefer to be open about my struggles (mostly) and accept help and support if I need it. I had a feeling you were exactly the same x

  2. Sorry to hear you’ve had so much thrown on your plate that you’ve had to deal with. I had a year like that a while ago. It was hell. I got through it with amazing friends who made me laugh when I never thought I would again. Running – crank up some seriously fast paced music, Prodigy works well, and run as fast as you can. Run it all out. Even if you run like Phoebe in Friends does 🙂 It helps clear your head. I would be so exhausted after sprints that I would actually sleep. Or find a good boxing class if you’re feeling angry, so satisfying to hear those thump noises when the gloves connect with pads or bag 🙂 And love escaping with a good book and a cup of tea too. You’ll be surprised how strong you are. Just take it a week at a time, sort things into bite sized chunks and be kind to yourself x

    • YES to seriously fast-paced music. Haven’t listened to Prodigy in years but it could be time to get reunited!! I also like the idea of a boxing class. A friend of mine tried it recently and loved the rush and release it enabled her. And I am all for bite sized chunks at the moment. It’s really all I am capable of. Hopefully things shift soon. Thanks for sharing your experience x

  3. So sorry to hear it’s tough phase at the moment – the big virtual hug from a pseudo stranger coming at you! When it gets to much for me (and it does) being in the moment with my little girl can transport me away temporarily. Unconditional love is a great boost. And definitely with you on the books…can take you anywhere and everywhere

    • Oh I love a big virtual hug from a pseudo stranger. THANK YOU!!!!! I agree that unconditional love is the best tonic for a sad soul. They bring you back into the moment and remind you that life is precious and being in their world is really rather lovely. Thank you x

    • Thanks, Jodi. Yes, I am a firm believer in sitting with discomfort and being gentle on oneself. That said, I don’t want to “sit” with this for too long so hoping something fab is just around the corner! xx

  5. What a rotten time you’ve had, life can so crappy sometimes. I really hope things look up soon, but for now it seems like you know how to look after yourself, which is so important. I love that you read books and marvel at how you fit that in with being a busy mum, a writer and a blogger!! I just can’t find the time! I must try though, books are a great escape, aren’t they?x

    • Yes, books are a wonderful, necessary escape. I am not surprised you don’t have time to read. When I was neck-deep in the baby/toddler years I gave up reading for a while. But then I felt something was lacking and I felt empty without books. Now, reading is as essential part of my daily routine as wine – er, I mean, brushing my teeth!! 🙂 x

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